Saturday, 1 October 2011

Patience is a Virtue!

I remember my English nanny, my dad's mum, trying to teach me to knit many years ago as a young child and trying to help me with my frustration about dropped stitches etc.  No, unfortunately I never did learn to knit despite all her patience and encouragement! 

Oh my!  First off, in keeping with my mission keep this blog positive, thank you T for the lovely present you gave me when I came into school yesterday.  As teachers of primary school children we are often blessed with art work, love notes and other expressions of chidren's positive emotions and feelings..  It was explained to me by T that there was mail in the mailbox of the house.  The note said, "You are the best teacher ever!", and a seat at the back of the car so I could drive it.  Thought you might enjoy seeing this wonderful work.  Thank you T, you lifted my spirits.
Thank you also to NF for dropping by after school and spending a long time talking to me about the trials and tribulations I am going through and now my doubts about an event in November.  I only taught one of N's children, but cherish the two years I had with her son.  He is a wonderful boy with a giant heart.  Thank you N for everything! 

Ah-yah!  Is that how to spell it in English!?   Neither of the two countries I am thinking of look exactly promising at the moment.  I have connected with a single waiting mum in Ontario through a Yahoo group and it is the same thing there!  As singles, we seem to be swimming upstream far more so than couples.    I am constantly on the hunt for new countries and may have found one but this may mean a change in agency and more money!  I phoned the faciliator yesterday and she is emailing me info on Monday.  One of the requirements for this country is a medical there instead of here.  Why oh why does my mind race!  In the shower after I got off the phone with her I started thinking, "What if the needles aren't clean?  What if they don't sterilize equipment properly?"  I wish I could turn off the 'worry' part of my brain.  If anybody has any strategies for NOT putting the cart before the horse, please share them with me.  I couldn't get to school fast enough to ask a new colleague about her experiences in South America.  Thanks, TG!  I will ask what is involved in their medical, if it is done in a private facility and if I can take my own needle.

When I got home last night there was mail from my agency.  Excited, I thought I could stop the ticker.  No such luck!   My social worker and I had signed Sept. 16, the agency director on Sept. 19.  I had emailed this week to find out where the homestudy is and then I receive this mail.  I can't move forward without it at this point.  I need to initial four boxes but am confused as the note says to do all four for inter-country but I want to use one copy for domestic use.  You may ask, what is causing this pressure to move forward?  Well, first I finished the home study a month ago and secondly during the adoption education program (AEP) in July the birth mothers weren't able to attend.  Consequently, we were told we would be invited to the next AEP and so earlier this week I received an invite to a session tomorrow, Sunday, where the birth mothers will speak to the next group of prospective parents.  YIKES!   I can't help but feel the people in this AEP, I know they may be wonderful,  are biting at my heels.  Looking at the positive, I get to hear birth mums speak which may help me to write my, "Dear Birth Mother," letter.  From everything I've read when you are on waiting lists, your position on the list is everything.  I want to be on a country's list prior to the event I have booked in November.  I need a country decision made so I can be at peace with the decision I have made.  Right now, I have my doubts about November. 

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