Merry Christmas

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Dear Family and Friends and Fellow Bloggers,

Merry Christmas to all of you.  My family and I went to church tonight and the children put on a beautiful pagent.  They were very cute, especially the little sheep and angels. I hope Santa is good to each and everyone of you tonight as he stops and fills your stocking.  I am sure there will be a lot of excitement tomorrow morning for those of you with little ones.   For those of you that are celebrating Christmas with new members of your family, congratulations!   I can't wait to read all about everybody's day  To those of you waiting like me, we'll keep saying our prayers.  Have a wonderful day with your family and friends.  Thank you for all your support so far with my journey.

God bless,

love

Elizabeth

Petition for Equal EI Benefits for Adoptive Parents

I had seen this petition on the Vietnam Yahoo group last week and meant to post a link to it.  I was catching up on my blog reading this morning and the blog 'Our Adoption Journey' under my Vietnam heading had a link to the petition.  I have posted it as a 'widget'.  Please pass this petition along to all your Canadian friends and family.  Encourage as many people as you can to sign it.  We waiting and prospective parents thank you very much.
N.B.  When I signed it, I only put my name and email.  The 'i-petition' then goes to a donation page which you do not have to contribute to.  At this point you can just close the page or move to a different web page.  The petition is good until January 15, 2012.  Thank you again for your support.

It will be a miracle if this adoption ever happens! I feel like giving up!

I got an email from my agency this morning saying I was being passed to another worker.   I can't seem to get an answer about a letter I need from the Ministry here and am contemplating a trip to Toronto just to get Form A (consulate and lawyer) signed as it could take forever here!  Some of the blogs I am following are quite difficult to read on days like today.  Please don't get me wrong, I am happy for all these people, but how did they get such young children?  To bring 7-12 month old babies home, wow!    Now it seems it is a three year old or older!   I had a very good converstation with the agnecy in Ontario for my new country last Thursday and  once they get my dossier believe things might move forward.  I loook forward to working with them.  To put together my dossier, I need a couple of questions answered at a local level here first.  

All the delays are so frustrating.  As another blogger said, she hates Friday as it is another week gone by with nothing happening.  We have had long weekends and now of course have the Christmas holidays to slow things down!!!!!

I did manage to find the Fisher Price Deluxe Nativity set yesterday in Zellers.  I was beginning to think Canada is too politically correct and that I should engage in south of the border shopping as many Vancouverites do.  I can see why they go now!   I was getting desperate as  US Toys R Us website had it but not the Canadian!  Wallmart up here didn't have it either!   Please Canada, let's not forget the true meaning of Christmas in our drive to be politically correct!!  Needless to say my enthusiasm and joy in finding it were dashed this morning by a couple of emails.

Things could be worse, way worse I know that.  I didn't put up any decorations this year and with today's news, any hopes of a little one for next year seem dashed!  God give me strength, patience and wisdom.  I need them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 12 Books of Christmas - a wonderful idea!

One of the blogs I am following is called, "My Greatest Adventure".  It had a really neat posting that I read today.  It is an idea I saw on another blog but had forgotten about.  It is called the "12 Books of Christmas"   For each of the 12 days leading up to Christmas your child receives a book.  For me, it would be a neat way to slow down and not get caught up in that pre-Christmas rush.  For children, I can imagine it would help them with that pre-Christmas excitement.  As a teacher, I would give books at Christmas anyway, so why not do it this way.  I need to keep a list of all these great ideas.  Maybe I need a new heading on my sidebar with a list of ideas.  I also love the "love letters" that Lisa writes on her blog, "Are we there yet, Len?".  For my country, I need to get something signed by the consulate in Ottawa or else go through some complicated process here with having to get a lawyer get a letter from the bar!  This morning I am thinking okay, wait Lord knows how long for a lawyer to get this letter, or fork out the money and go get it signed at the consulate.   Off to clean my apartment that looks like a bomb went off!   So glad my home study is finished and a social worker isn't coming!!!!!!!!
P.S.  On one of the blogs of the blogs I am following there was a list of great things to take to the orphanage and leave with your child.  One of the things was those magic wands with stars in them that you keep flipping over.  I wish I could remember the blog and everything else on the list.

School is over! Two weeks off! No alarm clock!

I didn't do any of my blog following yesterday as it was a crazy day.  The last day of school before Christmas and then our staff party!   I am up early this morning, couldn't go back to sleep, so decided to check the blogs for updates.  On the blog called 'Catherine's Chatter' I found this video.  I watched it and all I can think of is that if things go right for me and my local agency forwards my dossier quickly to the agency in Ontario, I may be rejoicing next Christmas.  It most likely won't be with a baby, but it would be lovey to have a little one (pre-schooler) to share in all the excitment.  If you check out this post on Catherine's blog, you'll see her daughter with a Fisher Price Nativity set.  I didn't know they existed and might try and buy one although I don't really want to jinx things!  In the meantime, I kind of live vicariously through the blogs I am following.  Catherine also has a link to Tot School on her blog and it has lots of cool ideas. I've got lots of great ideas for things to do with my little friend A.  This would also be a good website for some kindergarten teachers.  Oh, how I long to do this kind of activity with my own little one.  I've got more blogs to check but also need to get going with my day.  Too many things to do and errands to run!

Help! I am beyond frustrated this morning.

I have taken the morning off work (on time I am given as senior staff rep) to try and rewrite my Canada Adopts profile that I discussed with a professional almost two weeks ago.   I absolutely give-up!   Time is ticking and I am not even past the profile that appears on the registry page!!!!  How am I meant to "hook" a young woman considering adoption in 25-50 words?  If I get this first part done before I have to go into work I will be lucky.  Then I have the rest of it to do!!!!!  Maybe I should give-up and ask my agency if I can transfer the money I paid them for Canada Adopts to what I owe them for stage 2 international fees and then consider the money to Canada Adopts a lost cause!  It may beat banging my head against a brick wall.

My meeting on Tuesday

I met with my adoption worker at my local agency on Tuesday.  After what seemed like a L - O  - N - G wait we were able to talk about my new country.  It was a positive meeting.  She feels the country and Ontario agency are a good option for me.  I had several questions that she said I need to ask the director of the agency in Ontario.  I have to get on that.  They are probably easiest asked on the phone, but perhaps best asked in an email so I have a record of them.  I spoke to a family that adopted an older child (11 years) about the process and am waiting to hear back from a second family.  Although there don't seem to be any children under the age of 3 at the moment in the orphanages, I think maybe this country is the route to go.  I'd love a child around a year but it is very difficult to do, especially as a single.  I don't quite see getting my dossier off before Christmas and wonder if it isn't better to have it all ready to go for the first week of January, but then I think if I can get it together and off next week, I can celebrate the New Year, even if the dossier only made it as far as Ontario.   I was asked by my adoption worker if I had started the immigration process and I hadn't as I had been advised to wait.  Now  I have to try and figure that out process.  It is quite complicated and one you want to make sure you get right.   I believe the route is different depending on whether you bring the child home as a Canadian citizen or with a visa.  I had a lovely chat with a friend and former parent this morning.  Thank you for stopping by. 

Not much news!

The attachment workshop was interesting on Saturday afternoon.  The other families there were all at different points in their adoption process and adopting in different ways.  As has been my experience to date with AFABC, the facilitator was really good and the information useful.  This is such a super organization and resource for adoptive parents at least prospective, but I can't see that changing.    We had to share the world from our child's point of view, that is proposed or prospective child. It was hard for me at the other families all knew their child but I know a little about the process in the country I will be adopting from so did my best.

I found this blog, Cathernine's Chatter on somebody else's blog.  I have put a link to it under my 'China Blogs'.  Thank you Catherine for your words of encouragement in this process.  Unfortunately China is no longer an option as they are only allowing single parents to adopt special needs children.  If only I had started this journey 4-5 years ago!  Catherine brought her little girl home at 7 months and she is now almost three.  Something that has come up on several blogs is this 'Elf on a Shelf'.  I guess I'm not terribly with it.   I haven't had a good look at it but it seems to be all the rage!  Maybe I should get one for my classroom.  Santa might like to hear what goes on at school!  The hidden bullying that kids do is so frustrating.  It is impossible to see and hear everything that goes down.

I meet with my adoption worker tomorrow to try and find out more information on my country.  Here's hoping it is a valuable meeting.  She has told me there are no children under the age of three and a half in the orphanges or children's homes.  I guess three and a half is better than five almost six!  But oh for a little one, to snuggle and rock.  When M or C snuggle in and cozy up it is just the best feeling!  I will post tomorrow if I get anything valubable.  I did email two families who have recently completed an adoption from the country I am considering but am waiting to hear back from them.

New blog added under Honduran blogs

I just found my second comment.  Thanks, Megan.  Please see Megan's blog called Honduran Dreams under my Honduran Blogs heading.   I posted earlier tonight and then added this.

Tonight I was advised to have a Plan B or Plan C!

I promised myself this blog wouldn't be a scapegoat for my negative emotions and feelings.  I have tried hard to keep it informative of the process but am falling off the wagon tonight!   Bring on the chocolate!!!!  For anybody that knows the starfish story, I can make several connections.  Tonight I am the starfish!  I need to be picked up and thrown back into the ocean!



copyright: istockphoto.com/dem10

It is back to the drawing board with my letter for Canada Adopts.  Tonight's feedback seemed worse than that of those high school English teachers!!!   Being single and older and having less chance of appealing to a young, pregnant women is far harder to hear than seeing a C or C- on a paper, although at the time those grades were pretty devestating.  It's all relative I guess!  I appreciate the honesty and feedback to improve my letter but when one is already down, it's very hard to listen to.  Too boot, I need some new photos.  Photos of me with young kids.  The worst photo of me was the one that was liked best.  Go figure!  It was suggested I use photos of me from some time ago - read between the lines on this one!   What good is this when you go meet the young woman.   Anybody got kids they can offer me for a photo shoot on the next sunny day we get here in Vancouver?  A comment was made about my age that I'm not even going to repeat!  I have a couple of photos from school thanks to two parents but the ones I can use, that is where I look any good, are with children whose parents already have media concerns.  I can't seem to win!

Back to the emotions, if you read many blogs from waiting or prospective parents, emotions run high and are up and down.   I have no choice but to hold it together as really what good does it do to get upset?  I've been in tears tonight but not actually cried.  I figure what happened tonight is just par for the course.  We got sad news at school on Tuesday so that has just added to things.   Oh my goodness, I hope this Lupron (needed it for the surgery that got cancelled) wears off soon.  It really does a number on you.  Anybody that has been on it will attest to that.    I wish I had greater faith in this whole adoption process.

copyright: istockphoto.com/meltonmedia

One of the teachers at the first school I taught at had me for dinner one night.  She had been on medical leave the year before after getting very sick.  She had a poem on her apartment wall that really spoke to me.  It was called Footprints. At that time I had lost my faith but didn't think much more about it.  About five years later when I was going through a rough spot, it came back to me and really helped me.  I bought the book and have shared the poem with several people.  Perhaps I am at a point where I need to start believing in it again.  Oh, for a sign,something, anything as to which direction to go.

I do have other plans and am not putting all my eggs in one basket.  This isn't Plan A and yes there is a Plan B, not sure about a Plan C, but possibly.  Trying to ignore what I have been told by different agencies, I figured Canada Adopts would give me some natinal coverage!  For about $170 a month, including my local agency fees, I figured it was worth a try.  There is an additional charge each time there is an inquiry from outside of the province, so we'll see if it gets pricier!  I meet with my worker at my local agency on Tuesday to talk about the country she sent me information on.  I also need to email two families who have adopted from this country to find out about their experiences. 

Thank you for reading this tonight. I promise I will try to be more upbeat next time.  Have a good weekend.

P.S.  Thanks DT for the LD gift card.  I put it towards a video camera that I ran and bought tonight after I got off the phone.  Hopefully I can put it to use sooner rather than later.  I am now engaging in full on retail therapy!!!!!  Please let me know how you stop a VISA from going into meltdown!!!!!!