Sunday, 8 November 2015

Where am I now?

Hello, to anybody still following. 

Life has been a real good dance (HA HA!) and I can't say I have learned anything from it. Isn't there a song called, Life's a Dance?  Believe me,  I could easily call life something else right now.  After the Mother's Day update in May 2014 life took a CRUEL turn.  We lost my dear, beloved dad to what the doctors think was liver cancer in 12 days.  He went into hospital July 9 and died July 21.  It was absolutely horrible.  He had my back and was behind me 150% in this adoption process, he wanted nothing more than to see me happy.  I am so sorry he never got to be a grandfather.  He would have made an awesome one as he was the best father ever.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him! 

Health wise, I continue to fight back!  My wonderful agency in Ontario confirmed that my country doesn't hold breast cancer against the parent.  I checked on this before coughing up money to keep things holding and open locally!   I had a prophylactic left mastectomy in November 2014 so am now flat chested!   There is no chance of the breast coming back in the other breast and being missed repeatedly on mammograms again!   I wasn't going through that twice.  My petition about women being informed if they have dense breasts fizzled completely!   Seems a lot of people ran with the info but couldn't be bothered to sign the petition to make a difference!

I have major surgery Nov. 23 to remove the other tumour (the GIST) and then I should be given the all clear health wise and able to return to the adoption.  I fear things have ground to a halt, not due to my child's country's fault, but the Canadian gov't!   Families have been stuck in country upwards of  3-4 months due to problems in Trinidad, yet a number of families have had quick turn around times with Singapore when adopting from Vietnam.  I am not sure why the difference!  Our new federal government has said they will change immigration policies but seeing is believing.  Maybe they will and maybe I will only have to be in country 5-6 weeks like some of the early families were. 

Unfortunately, I am not getting any younger but I so want to be a mother.  I am at a real loss right now and can't believe that God has thrown so much my way and keeps throwing it.   It is certainly no way to get me back to church!    It ticks me off when people say He only gives you what you can handle, bull to that!   I am sorry if that offends some of you, but I put so much into the process and to have lost like I have kills me.

I just try to believe that one day, one way or another, I will be happy and a mama!

10 comments:

  1. Hello, Elizabeth. Yes, I'm still here and still wishing you health and happiness and I continue to hold hope in my heart that someday I will be seeing a picture of you and your little one, united at last. Wishing you nothing but good things moving forward.

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  2. Thank you so much Lisa. I so enjoy reading and following your blog and how your girls are doing. I was and am happy to hear that the change in schools has been so good for Adeline. I will be recuperating at my mum's on the island.

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  3. Hi Elizabeth, I am hear too. I'm sorry you have had such a tough go of it; however, am glad to read that you have not let go of your dream to become a mom…hang on to that and you'll continue to make the right decisions. Like Lisa above I too look forward to seeing you and your daughter….there are so many children needing loving homes and I'm sure you'll find each other!

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  4. I I have thought about you often & am glad you are on the mend & back to updating. I am holding out hope that your dreams will come true!

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